Building Mental Resilience in Toddlers: A Parent’s Guide

Life isn’t always easy, and our kids will face challenges—whether it’s losing a game, dealing with change, or managing big emotions. But how do we prepare them to bounce back from difficulties? By building resilience.

In a recent episode of Big Little Emotions, SEL expert Anchal Bhutani explained how mental resilience is the ability to navigate emotions, handle setbacks, and adapt to change. This guide will help you build resilience in toddlers and preschoolers using simple, everyday strategies.

What Is Mental Resilience?

Resilience is not about avoiding challenges—it’s about teaching kids how to cope with them in a healthy way. As Aanchal Bhutani explains:

“To be able to cope with life is resilience. It’s the ability to navigate challenges, emotions, and relationships in a healthy manner.”

Why is resilience harder for kids today?

✅ Increased pressure & expectations – Even young kids feel performance anxiety.

✅ Less exposure to failure – Kids rarely get the chance to struggle and learn from mistakes.

✅ Helicopter parenting – Overprotecting kids prevents them from developing coping skills.

✅ Post-COVID social struggles – Many toddlers missed key social experiences.

“Many children today find it difficult to make mistakes. They get overwhelmed if they don’t succeed immediately.” – Anchal Bhutani

5 Ways to Build Resilience in Kids

1️⃣ Model Resilience Yourself

Kids learn by watching us. If you react negatively to setbacks, they will too. Instead, model healthy coping skills:

• Instead of “I can’t do this,” say “This is tricky, but I’ll figure it out.”

• Instead of hiding failures, share them: “I made a mistake at work today, but I learned from it.”

“Parents should show kids that failure is normal. Share your struggles so they learn it’s okay to make mistakes.” – Anchal Bhutani

2️⃣ Encourage Problem-Solving

Resilient kids don’t wait for adults to fix everything—they figure things out on their own. When your child faces a challenge, try:

❌ “Let me do it for you.”

✅ “This is tricky! What do you think we should try?”

✅ “Let’s brainstorm three ideas together.”

Try This: Give kids age-appropriate decisions—like picking their own clothes or choosing between two bedtime stories.

3️⃣ Reframe “Failure” as Learning

Instead of focusing on winning or getting things right, emphasize effort and growth:

✅ “Wow, you worked so hard on this puzzle!”

✅ “You didn’t get it right this time, but what did you learn?”

“A child who learns that mistakes are okay will grow into an adult who embraces challenges.” – Anchal Bhutani

4️⃣ Use Play to Teach Adaptability

Play is a powerful way to teach resilience. Try games that involve waiting, taking turns, and managing disappointment:

• Board games – Teach patience, turn-taking, and handling losses.

• Outdoor play – Builds confidence in handling risks.

• Role-playing – Act out scenarios where kids solve problems independently.

5️⃣ Create a “Try Again” Mindset

Make persistence a family habit:

• If a child says, “I can’t do this,” encourage “You can’t do it yet, but let’s try again.”

• If they get frustrated, teach deep breathing or mindfulness 

Final Thoughts

As Anchal Bhutani shared in our podcast:

“Resilience isn’t something kids are born with—it’s something they build, with practice and support.”

By modeling resilience, encouraging problem-solving, and normalizing mistakes, we give our kids the confidence to handle life’s challenges. Want to start today? Explore our SEL books & printables at Calm Kids. 😊